Wherever You Will Go
by Amethyst Prongs
Summary: [OneShot][Skate] Sawyer's faced with the decision to tell Kate that they've been found on the island by the FBI.


A/N: This is my second Lost one-shot, and my first song-fic-type-thing, based on the song Wherever You Will Go, by The Calling. This is a Skate fic, so if you're not into that, I suggest you leave now. Also, please read and review. I'll accept flames, but for crying out loud, make them constructive. If not, I'll just laugh at you.

I'm quite surprised that I'm actually writing something relatively serious, I didn't think I had it in me. I need to write something, though; I'm in need of some serious de-stressing. I just did a week work experience for school at a local kinder. The kids were gorgeous (quote of the week: "Mrs. Sian, can you pwease wead me a book?"), but a handful. I've also managed to note that even though the girls were only three or four or so, they could be really, REALLY bitchy. And that's something coming from a teenager who goes to the centre of all bitchiness, an all girls school. Most of their conversations consisted of "You're not coming to my birthday party!" "Well, YOU'RE not coming to MINE." "At least you GOT an invitation at the start!" No, really, I heard that exact conversation a few times.

Anyway, cheers.

Disclaimer: If you recognise anything in this fic, then chances are it doesn't belong to me.

PS. Was the flight number in Lost 815? Could somebody tell me, please?

* * *

Their eyes were locked, anger burning in each pair. Fists clenched, teethed bared. Glaring.

"Just do it," Jack snapped at Sawyer, averting his gaze as he hurriedly jammed things into his suitcase, "she'll appreciate it coming from you."

"The _hell_ is that supposed to mean?" came the angry reply, Sawyer's brows frowning, eyes burning.

Both were ignoring the chaos around them as people hurried to pack their things, to get on the rescue boat, and perhaps to figure out why the FBI were there as well.

Jack stood up straighter and looked into Sawyer's eyes. Both of them knew exactly why they didn't want to do it; they didn't want to tell Kate the news that could possibly destroy her.

There they both stood, on the beach, half-filled suitcases beside them, just looking at each other. They would never admit it, but they were both silently begging each other to relent. Sawyer's feelings for Kate went deeper than he could figure out, and he was torn between desperately wanting to be the one to tell her, to be there for her, and not wanting to hurt her in any way.

_So lately been wondering, who will be there to take my place?_

"Look," Jack finally said, exasperatedly, "go say goodbye, whatever, but if you don't go, the last time you'll ever get to see her, to tell her anything, will be as she's being led onto a boat in shackles."

"So you'd do that to her?" Sawyer quickly replied, eyes burning with even more anger than before, "if you'd go, you'd dob her in, play the good citizen and get her thrown in the slammer?"

"That's not what I meant, Sawyer." Jack replied quietly, looking down.

"Hell, give you a good reputation, the one who caught the infamous Kate Austen?" Sawyer could almost of sworn he could see tears building up in Jack's eyes.

Jack didn't reply. Sawyer turned around to march into the jungle.

"Sawyer," Jack called after him, and Sawyer turned around, "She's in Sun's garden." He said, before going back to his packing.

Sawyer sighed and started walking.

_When I'm gone, you'll need love, to light the shadows on your face._

When he finally arrived at Sun's garden, Kate was kneeling in the soil, alone, with her back to him. Sweat had matted her curly hair slightly to her neck, and the seat of her jeans was slightly dirty from spending time there.

Sawyer took a step forward, and the slight sound attracted Kate's attention. She stood up and turned around, a faint smile touching the corners of her mouth.

"Hey," she said by way of greeting, brushing her hands off on her thighs. "What's a guy like you doing in a place like this?"

Instead of making a smart-arse comment, winking, or even replying back with his own "hey", Sawyer could only stand there, his voice catching in his throat. He didn't want to do what he knew he had to do. He was standing only feet away from her, he could see the light in her eyes, and he just couldn't bring himself to extinguish that.

If a great wave shall fall, and fall upon us all, between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own?

"Kate," he finally managed to croak out, "they found us."

"What do you mean?" she asked, a slight frown on her face as she stepped forward to look Sawyer in the eye. "Who's 'they'?"

"We've been rescued," he told her softly, trying desperately not to see all the emotions that suddenly filled her beautiful eyes, "some light plane…they saw one of our fires, they sent out a boat…"

Kate's face was white; she knew what he was about to say next, he knew she knew; yet he had to say it anyway, to make it final.

"Kate, the FBI is here."

She didn't say anything; she just looked at him, a million thoughts running through their minds. "Are they…do they know I'm here?" she finally managed to say.

If I could, then I would, I'll go wherever you will go.

"They're…they're looking for you…" Sawyer told her, desperate for her to say something else, anything at all.

"I figured as much." She said with a small trace of wry humour, looking down at her feet.

Sawyer gently, slowly, almost as if he was shy, put two fingers under her chin and raised it slightly, meeting her eyes.

"Jack…didn't tell them much," he told her softly, "I heard him say he didn't get to know many people on the island, that he didn't know if you were still alive." She said nothing, just looked him in the eyes.

"Kate, they _don't know you're here_."

_Way up high, or down low, I'll go wherever you will go._

"Sawyer…" she began, beginning to see what he was getting at.

"You don't have to give yourself up!" he told her furiously, letting his hand drop but still meeting her eyes.

"What are you going to do, hide me in a suitcase?" she asked him softly, taking another step forward.

"You can _hide_," he said urgently, "I…I can…stay with you…"

Kate smiled sadly. "They'd search the entire island for me," she said, reaching over to rest a hand on his shoulder. "They'd find me. They'd find you. Call me crazy, but I don't think they'd be too keen on letting you stay here."

_And maybe I'll find out a way to make it back someday, to watch you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days._

Sawyer stared at her, not talking. "Crazy." He finally said.

Kate frowned slightly, not understanding. "What?"

"You said call you crazy," he said softly, horrified to find that tears were welling up in his eyes.

"I _can't_ keep running, Sawyer." She told him, her voice not much more than a whisper. "I can't do this for the rest of my life."

"I'll run with you," he told her quickly, grasping both her arms with his hands, "we still have time, Jack's the only one who knows that I'm here with you."

"No." she said simply, shaking her head.

If a great wave shall fall, and fall upon us all, well I hope there's someone out there who can bring me back to you.

"Kate…" he said, begging.

She knelt down to pick up her water bottle, and in a surprising show of affection, took his hand.

"Come on," she said softly, and without protesting, Sawyer let her start to lead him back to the beach.

_If I could, then I would, I'll go wherever you will go._

"Don't you wanna go back to Cavetown and get your stuff?" he asked her as she led him in the beach's direction.

Kate thought of the little aeroplane tucked in a corner of her cave. It didn't matter now. Nothing there did. It was the end, she was going to prison for a long, long time. And she wouldn't se Sawyer again.

"No." she said again and kept walking, tugging a little on Sawyer's hand.

They finally walked out onto the beach and stood there silently, holding each other's hands, drawing comfort from each other and gazing at the scene before them. A large looking boat was anchored off the coast, with at least a dozen smaller boats peppering the beach, including, the Sawyer and Kate's immediate sadness and dismay, an FBI speed boat.

Kate involuntarily gulped. This was it.

There was no going back

_Way up high, or down low, I'll go wherever you will go._

"Ready?" Sawyer asked her, then mentally kicking himself. He didn't see how anyone could possibly be ready for what was about to happen to Kate.

Kate didn't say anything, but held his hand a little tighter and walked forward, Sawyer walking with her. When they had gotten about twenty metres away from the nearest FBI agent, he turned around and registered her arrival with shock, eyes wide open, and he seemed quite unable to say anything for a few moments, just opening and closing his mouth with no sound coming out.

A few more agents turned around at the sight of one of their agent's seemingly sudden shock at something.

Before Kate could utter "Nice to see you all again," as she had to sudden insane urge to do, no less than five agent had swarmed over her, wrenching her away from Sawyer, and pinning her to the ground. Kate let out a small gasp of pain.

"Wait," Sawyer said weakly, tears now threatening to spill over, but his voice was drowned by the shouts of the FBI agents, one who was slapping a pair of handcuffs over Kate's wrists and hauling her roughly to her feet.

"Wait!" he said louder now, drawing the attention of the nearest agent. Sawyer looked him in the eye, seemingly unaware of the tears now tracking marks down his face. The agent, to his credit, looked mildly sympathetic for a few moments.

"Can I…can I just say goodbye…please?" he asked softly, deep down thinking that they would never let him.

The sound of his pain-filled voice now managed to attract the attention of Kate and the other agents. One of them snorted as he fixed shackles to Kate's ankles.

"_Please?_" he asked again, while silence fell.

The agent holding Kate's wrists was the first to speak. "Sir, we have-"

"I'll be quick!" Sawyer told him, dimly registering the face that he sounded like a small child telling his mother, "Just five more minutes".

The agents all looked at each other. Fortunately for Sawyer, they were capable of realising how distressed the man in front of them seemed.

"You've got a minute." One of them told Sawyer, not resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

Sawyer quickly stepped forward and placed his hands on Kate's waist.

"Sawyer-" she began, but Sawyer cut her off, ignoring her protests.

"No, listen to me," he said, "I've only got a minute, so I'll cut to the chase: I am going to _miss you_, more than I could ever say. These past few months have been…you're different from any other person I know, and no matter what happens, I'll _always be there for you._"

Now Kate began to cry softly, no sound coming out of her, but tears tracking clean marks in her slightly sweaty and dirty face.

"Sawyer…" she said weakly, "I'm never going to see you again."

Sawyer knew this was probably the most likely scenario, but he couldn't admit it, and a small part of him hated Kate for her being able to say it, and making it all seem real, this was really happening.

Sawyer could see the FBI were about to take away the one person other than himself that he cared about, so he quickly placed the fingers of his left hand underneath her chin again and kept the other hand on her waist.

He looked into her eyes for a second, then softly placed his lips on hers, applying gentle pressure. Kate's hands were behind her back, so the only response she could give was to apply pressure back.

Heat burned inside the both of them like they had never felt before, perhaps it was the desperation of the moment, but both would always remember that kiss. It wasn't a frenzied, passion-filled kiss; it was a soft goodbye kiss that somehow managed to sum up all of their feelings in a few seconds.

Before either of them could say anything else, Kate was jerked roughly away from Sawyer by the FBI agents and quickly led onto the boat.

Sawyer stood there, arms hanging limply by his sides, and watched as the boat took away the woman he loved.

_Run away with my heart, run away with my hope, run away with my love._

As he stood there, one simple thought entered his mind and stuck fast. He was never going to see her again.

_I know now, just quite how, my life and love might still go on, in your heart, in your heart, in your mind, I'll stay with you for all of time._

Three days later, Sawyer was sitting in front of the turned-on television in his house, empty bottles of alcohol littering the floor around his chair. His hair hadn't been washed in about a week, he hadn't shaved and his clothes were dirty.

Life wasn't worth it. Kate wasn't there. Even though he was somewhat reclusive on the island, he had become used to Kate's mere presence, and he missed her unbelievably.

He had seen a brief news update on the television before, but he couldn't believe it.

Wouldn't believe it.

_If I could, then I would, I'll go wherever you will go._

Suddenly his attention was back on the news. The update was on again. The same story.

Kate.

_Way up high, or down low, I'll go wherever you will go._

The poncy newsreader was talking again.

"-In a shocking twist to the survivors of Oceanic flight 815, wanted fugitive Katherine Austen, who was apprehended on the island the survivors had been living on, has committed suicide in her cell in Los Angeles, where she was being held until a court appearance in September took place. Austen was found with her wrists slit by an officer and was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics-"

Sawyer looked up at his ceiling and let the bottle of bourbon drop to the floor.

_If I could turn back time, I'll go wherever you will go, if I could make you mine, I'll go wherever you will go._

Getting to his feet, Sawyer ran a hand through his hair and fetched a length of rope from the back of his pantry. What it was doing there, he didn't know, but it didn't matter, he needed it.

Stepping back into the living room, he dragged a light chair in from the kitchen, stood in it and tied one end of the rope to the overhead ceiling fan fixture above it. Fumbling a few times, he managed to tie the other end in a decent knot –hey, he hadn't done three years of boy scouts as a kid for nothing- around his neck.

He took one last look at the room and closed his eyes.

He pictured Kate's face in his mind as he kicked the chair out from underneath him.

_I'll go wherever you will go._


End file.
